Night Shift @ ACORN (9/14/09)

After the O'Keefe/Giles stings red-handedly exposed criminal abetting of tax evasion and underage prostitution at ACORN's Baltimore and Washington, D.C. offices, the Head Nut, Bertha Lewis, belched out a wagon-circling press release defiantly declaring, in part:

This recent scam, which was attempted in San Diego, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Philadelphia to name a few places, had failed for months before the results we’ve all recently seen.

New York, eh? Funny you should mention the Big Apple, Bertha....:

You know what they say, Bertha: once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a trend. Particularly when all three sting videos are practically carbon copies of each other. Almost as if offering assistance to heinously felonious activities is part of ACORN's standard operating procedure.

The "It's just a few bad apples" dodge having become functionally inoperable, ACORN did what every hard-left individual or group that believes him/itself bulletproof in the age of Obama: go on the offensive:

Wow, that's ballsy; sue O’Keefe, Giles, and Fox News for publishing "doctored" tapes to make ACORN look guilty. Yeah, that'll show those rightwing extremist monsters they can't push ACORN around!

Except....didn't they fire those aforementioned "bad apples" in Baltimore and Washington, D.C.? If Bertha's Brigade didn't at least fear that they were dead meat, why'd they pink slip them? Whoops! If there's such a thing as going off "half-cocked," I'd say ACORN just castrated itself.

The Wall Street Journal's John Fund, who has written a sentence or six bazillion about this criminal syndicate over the past few years, hearily agrees:

You know another old saying, Bertha: Don't throw stones at a person wielding a machine gun.

~ ~ ~

The other day I posited what gave O'Keefe and Giles the idea to pose as a pimp and prostitute to sting ACORN offices. Upon further review it seems to spring from the supposition that they are every bit the criminal conspiracy that the BigGovernment videos have exposed them as, and all the duo had to do was dangle the most PR-delicious bait. And they were absolutely right, judging by how fast the worm is turning on (never let it be forgotten) Red Barry's bosom allies:

Senator Mike Johanns (R-NE) introduced an amendment to the HUD and Transportation appropriation bill to strip ACORN of all federal funding. A week ago, Johanns wouldn’t have gotten the amendment to the floor. Today, however, after three straight days of BigGovernment.com’s video exposés of ACORN offices in Washington DC, New York City, and Baltimore offering assistance to pimping, tax evasion, and trafficking in underage Salvadorean girls, Johanns not only got his vote — but he got an impressive bipartisan showing. The Senate passed the Johanns amendment 83-7.

Holy community organizer, Batman! They were set to received over eight BILLION smackers in Hogzilla funding. Now THAT smarts. Kind of reminds me of the Clinton impeachment - all those "more substantive" scandals, from Whitewater to Filegate to Travelgate to Chinagate, got ignored and roundfiled, but one intern too many and Sick Willie's ass was in a sling. The arrogance was the same, too.

Whatever it takes, my friends, whatever it takes.

Meanwhile, back in Gotham:

Meanwhile, Jerry Schmetterer, director of public information for the Kings County District Attorney’s Office, told FOXNews.com that officials will be “taking a look” into Brooklyn’s ACORN office.

“We are going to be taking a look at the situation,” Schmetterer said Monday.

A spokesman for Representative Darrell Issa, R-CA, said ACORN’S tax status as a nonprofit 501(c)(3) organization should also be probed.

“We’ve already seen the Census Bureau severe its tie with ACORN,” the spokesman, Kurt Bardella, told FOXNews.com.

“Certainly, as an organization being subsidized by taxpayer dollars, their relationship with other government entities should be called into question, and whether or not it’s appropriate for them to receive taxpayer dollars.”

"Taking a look" is a functionally meaningless phrase, but if dead-to-rights criminality in three different ACORN offices is the iceberg tip it looks to be, that may enough to help burst their crumbling PR dam wide open.

Bertha maintained a brave front, though transitioning from defiant to trying to scrounge around for tatters of faux piety:

“We’re disappointed that the Senate took the rare and politically convenient step of supporting eliminating some federal funding for a single organization, one that has been the target of an historical political assault stemming variously from the Bush White House, Fox News, and other conservative quarters,” said Bertha Lewis, CEO of ACORN, in a statement after the Senate vote. “Fortunately, ACORN derives most of its income from its members and other supporters, so the decision will have little impact on overall operations. Tonight’s vote will burden the families who benefited from ACORN’s important work to improve housing conditions in the United States.”

Translation: We're disappointed that two freelance journalists have exposed us as an ongoing criminal conspiracy bent on overthrowing American democracy, that we haven't been able to intimidate them and our enemies into cowering silence, and that our cowardly Democrat "allies" have thrown us under the bus, so we're going to hide behind the "families" we've held hostage for years as human shields to our impregnable moral supremacy and denounce you all as racist monsters instead.

Well, ya gotta admit, they're a bit short on options. Besides, do you really think they're going to give up this much coin when they've still got Crazy Nancy in the fight on the House side?